How to spot a sociopath

Learning how to spot a sociopath can be one of the most effective ways to defend yourself or your organization from harm. Any executive should spend some time learning about sociopaths because they can easily fall victim to one. With anywhere from one to four percent of the population being a sociopath, it is a guarantee that everyone will come across one sometime in their lives. I have met a lot of them in my professional and personal life. They have led to major setbacks and have all shared some similar traits.

Before you get the perception that a sociopath is a violent criminal, we’d like to tell you that a great number of them haven’t committed violent crimes. A lot of them are scammers, fraudsters, and white-collared criminals. A lot of them though have a clean history. They tend to gravitate where there is power, money, and influence. The business world has its fair share and I suspect a disproportionate number when comparing to different professions.

A sociopath is sometimes also referred to as a psychopath. There is a difference though. Sociopaths tend to have a very weak conscience while a psychopath lacks one entirely. Both terms are associated with the antisocial personality disorder which is something a psychologist would diagnose. For the purposes of this article, we won’t go into too much detail about the differences between a sociopath and a psychopath because both exhibit similar external behaviors. Both are capable of great harm and destruction and both must be rooted out.

Correctly diagnosing a person as a sociopath takes the great skill and knowledge of a well-trained psychologist. However, for practical reasons, it would be useless and almost laughable to tell you to send your suspected sociopath to the psychologist. Not only would a sociopath disagree with the idea of getting counselling, but, they would be put on guard and likely want to take action against you for exposing their nature. We suggest you keep the information to yourself, though, you could consult with an expert to get a better confirmation.

Recognizing a sociopath takes some effort and knowledge about the person. Sociopaths lie, cheat, and steal. They are very good at it. Many are intelligent, charming, and have a lot of stories that they like to tell people so that they can control how others perceive them. In fact, they are master storytellers who know how to elicit emotions and imagination from people. It’s quite interesting that they can do this. Contrary to their abilities to perform, they have no ability to feel the emotions of others. They cannot emphathize.

What also separates them from the rest of society is the ability to do things that others won’t do out of conscience. They don’t have a nagging voice in their head telling them what is right or wrong. They only follow what they desire. They want something. It could be money, power, gratification, or escape from a bad situation. They won’t let their conscience get in the way of what they want. This is the reason why it’s hard to spot a sociopath. They do things that normal people don’t and don’t follow the rules. You can’t find a sociopath by judging them on how they follow the rules of society. They cover their tracks through deception and smokescreens.

To uncover a possible sociopath, we urge you to do the following six steps.

#1 Analyze the history of the suspected sociopath

The first clues that can be found come from a sociopath’s history. In my particular experience with sociopaths, there have been some commonalities with their history.

Many short-lived relationships with people

Sociopaths generally have few ongoing relationships with people unless it is of some use to them. For this reason, they tend to burn a lot of bridges quickly. While they are very open and charming on the outside when they first meet people, they have a different agenda on the inside. For a sociopath, a friend or close partner must be of some use to them. If they aren’t they are generally a waste of time and they will do what they can to terminate useless relationships. Sociopaths tend to only have a small handful of “friends” around them. The rest of the people they meet have been vetted and deemed useless. If you see someone go through many people like disposable friendships, you might have a suspected sociopath. Sociopaths generally will seek others and determine their use which other antisocial people will not do. They typically avoid people altogether which is against the needs of a sociopath.

Sociopaths will even tolerate relationships with people they despise if it serves some purpose. They will act nice and welcoming to their enemies. They will give gifts, do nice things and say nice things, if it buys them influence. Sociopaths love gifting a Trojan horse. Beware of their gifts because it might put you in a spot to do them a favor later. They can use it against you.

If you know someone who has a new set of friends every week that never make it past a couple of months, you should investigate further into the relationships of people whom they still associate with. To a sociopath, everyone is a pawn in their own game of chess.

Inconsistencies in their stories

Every one of the sociopaths that I have met have had some amazing stories about their lives. These stories serve a great purpose to them. The often describe how they got somewhere or where they want to be in live. These stories seek to elicit emotion, sympathy, respect, or fear. The truthfulness of those stories are typically suspect, but these stories have a way of charming people and gaining people’s trust.

The way that sociopaths craft these stories doesn’t exactly happen overnight. They develop the stories by telling them again and again. They refine them based on which parts capture their audience’s attention. They make it work for them and their purpose. They really do a good job at gaining attention.

One thing that is a weak link are these constant changes and tweaks. If you know a sociopath, you might have heard their stories told dozens of times. Each time is a little different. The facts behind a lot of these stories are also very questionable.

Many sociopaths lack the background needed to gain access to certain areas of business or groups of people. A lot of it comes from them trying to take shortcuts in life. Education, military involvement, credentials, past friendships or relationships, and more are fudged to make them look good. There are often very elaborate excuses behind why they can’t prove these claims as well.

A lot of sociopaths will tell you that they were graduates or dropouts of elite universities, had special assignments in the military, and have socialized with celebrities or the power elite. While it could very well be true, without adequate proof, don’t take a sociopath’s word for it.

A web of lies

Sociopaths will lie to anybody and everybody to get what they want. If you know that a person has repeatedly lied to yourself or others, engaged in fraudulent acts, or have even pretended or impersonated others, you would be right in suspecting them to be a sociopath.

To make it even clearer is how bold they will get with their lies. They play their lies very well and show little signs of being deceptive. Sociopaths will sometimes lie to others openly in front of other people who know the truth. They don’t hide their lying to people who aren’t against them. In fact, many sociopaths will try to get others to play along and conspire against others. Be very wary when you are asked be a suspected sociopath to convey information to another person or group.

Anyone who has approached you on a consistent basis and have sought your help to cover their lies should be watched closely. Even if their deceitful actions help you in some way, never play a role. They will try to use this against you later if you try to attack them.

When a sociopath is confronted for their lies, they will first downplay the accusations then become aggressive with counterattacks. Finally, they will turn the accuser into an enemy that will become part of their rumor mill that they will share with the sociopath will share with others. They will do their best to “exile” the person. This is not a position you would want to be in.

#2 Determine their amount of disrespect for the law and society

Sociopaths have little concern about what is right or wrong. They don’t see their lives molded by the collective consciences of others. To them, the law or societal customs are only valid if it is used by them for some purpose to benefit them.

Sociopaths break the law all the time

If you know someone who thinks they are above the law, you might be in the presence of a sociopath. To a sociopath, if no one sees a crime being committed, it isn’t something to be worried about. They will speed, skip out on jury duty, park in handicap spots, forge documents, steal intellectual property, and make threats to others without any sense of guilt or worry about getting caught. Their conscience doesn’t operate so they think more logically and statistically. If they can get away with something they’ll do it.

Sociopaths have no regard for social norms

It is usually rude to cut in line in front of others. It is also bad form to show up late to meetings, cut people off in traffic, go behind other people’s backs, gossip and spread rumors, and not show any signs of respect or humility.

#3 Decide if they are overly impulsive or not

Many sociopaths have a lust for something. Money, success, fame, and more. Despite a lot of these desires being long term goals, they are very impulsive and give into their immediate desires. It isn’t surprising when a sociopath will splurge on something useless, make reckless financial decisions, or spend big money on trying to fix some minor inconveniences.

They also, with their deceitful nature, won’t hesitate to use other people’s resources, such as a company’s credit card to pay for things that they want. They will just cover it up later.

They also have difficulty planning in advance for contingencies or future complications. They are very much into the “now.” A lot of this results in crisis that erupt from failed planning. They will try to blame this on others though.

If you question consistent, impulsive actions that someone makes, be wary. If combined with any of the other identifiers, you might be looking at a sociopath. In my experiences, I have seen a lot of financially and legally questionable actions taken place by sociopaths based on impulses. Many of these would make a normal person scratch their head a thousand times. One might be inclined to label these actions as stupidity, but, it is just part of this disease.

Another important thing to distinguish is if their impulsivity is associated with another mental disorder. A lot of sociopaths have impulsivity disorders, but that is among many people who only have impulsivity disorders.

 #4 Is your suspect sociopath easily offended?

A good number of sociopaths are quite aggressive. They will take part in combative fights or wage war through other means. Some sociopaths are always looking for a fight to pick. For whatever reason it may be, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a sociopath’s aggression.

Always remember that the play against the rules. They disregard the law or social norms and fight dirty. The reasons why they are aggressive can sometimes be mysterious. For some sociopaths, violence is used to gain power and authority. A display of might and force can be enough to convince others not to get on their bad side. Even a small event is enough to ignite a rage that takes things much farther than it needs to be. A small comment, unintentional insult, spread of rumors, or failure to meet expectations can make other people’s lives miserable.

They will also use aggression as a defense mechanism. If someone is angry at them, they try to throw them off balance with a counterattack. They often attack the very values of other people that they don’t have themselves.

If someone you know is constantly becoming aggressive to situations that most people can deal with calmly, then be on guard.

 #5 Is there a history of irresponsibility?

Along with a disregard for law comes an irresponsibility of self and others. This includes ignoring safety, financial, and legal rules. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that many sociopaths will engage in dangerous behavior that puts other people at harm. Drunk driving, possession of weapons, cheating on taxes, and even lying in court are some of the things sociopaths will do.

When it comes to taking care of responsibilities, they will ignore them unless pressed. What separates a sociopath from just a lazy person is the degree of irresponsibility and the harm that it causes to other people. Even a lazy person with a conscience wouldn’t let harm come to others if it can be prevented.

Late payments, penalties, traffic violations piling up, using resources up, and more are common things sociopaths have.

#6 Does he or she have a remorseless attitude?

Sociopaths are cold, guiltless, and lack remorse. They don’t regret their actions whether it hurt someone or not. They will rationalize bad deeds to make it sound reasonable to themselves. A good number of TV drama characters exhibit this behavior; heroes and villains. A lot of sociopaths aren’t criminals. They are lawyers, CEOs, and government officials. They use the law to their own advantage to increase their power and influence even if it means someone else will unnecessarily suffer.

There are probably people you know if life who make tough decisions rather easily. They tend to ignore the consequences their actions have on others. Sociopaths take the human element out of the picture. Because of this, you will see sociopaths not thinking twice about their actions or thinking about how they turned someone else’s life upside down. In many ways organizations rely on them to do the dirty work. The kind of work which someone with a conscience wouldn’t want to do.

Making the call

To determine if someone you know is a sociopath, you’ll want to make sure that you have concrete evidence derived from the previous six steps. Each step doesn’t need to produce a result. A lot of these might be hard to determine when you aren’t close enough to the person in question. You can, however, probe the person to see if they follow the trends here.

If you only have enough evidence to support the signs from only one of the previous six steps, you might be looking at someone who isn’t a sociopath, but has other issues. And, everyone has issues. If you find enough to convince you that you are dealing with a sociopath, then you might want to prepare yourself for how to interact with one.

Also, if you have a confidant who is also knowledgeable about the person, asking objective questions might help confirm the case.

Keeping this information to yourself is key to protecting you, your organization, and people you care about.

Now that you know how to identify, learn how to deal with the sociopath.