How to deal with a sociopath at work

Sociopaths are definitely in your workplace right now. They have invaded every profession, industry, and sector. There is a good chance that you are working with one now. If you have already identified someone who may be a sociopath, you are dealing with someone who might cause harm to you in the future, if not already.

It could have been some devious behavior which alerted you to this possibility. Chances are, you might have already suffered from an action taken by a sociopath. This is usually what tips people off in the first place: misbehavior coming from someone you wouldn’t expect it to come from.

The best way to deal with a sociopath is to cut that person out of your life. They are dangerous, though, hard to say evil. Many sociopaths have a weak understanding of what is right or wrong. They lack a strong conscience to influence their decisions. They simple want to do what benefits them even if it causes harm to others (because they don’t really care).

Of course, in the office, cutting someone out of your life is not an easy thing to do, especially, if you are depending on keeping a job for your living. Chances are you can skate on by without a sociopath affecting you much. This is an article for people who are being affected by a sociopath in a negative way. It is also a helpful article for those who want to learn more about the sociopath in the workplace and how to defend against one should they come into existence.

We will look into ways that will help you deal with a sociopath in the workplace.

Identifying the sociopath

Before you start down the path of dealing with a bad coworker, you should learn how to identify a sociopath. Some devious people are sociopaths and some are not. It’s important to distinguish the differences.

There are many ways in which a person can be influenced to commit something wrong. It could be a bad day, different values and beliefs, other psychological disorders, or something unintentional. Sociopaths are quite common, however, with figures identifying as many as one out of 25 people being affected. The best defense against a sociopath is to know how they operate and where their weaknesses are.

Understanding the sociopath

Sociopaths have a very weak conscience. They have trouble understanding what the good moral thing to do is. They also tend to rationalize everything in their heads to make their actions seem justified. Even lying which they are really good at.

They usually have above average intelligence and have a desire to occupy jobs that give them what they want with the least amount of effort applied. They will use others as stepping stones to get what they want. To them, people are pawns in a game of chess played by their own rules.

Friendships to a sociopath are out of benefit rather than a mutual pledge to entertain, trust, and help each other. That doesn’t mean they don’t have friends. They always keep people around who can be of some use.

While they tend to be bold during times of chaos, sociopaths take a lot of actions behind the scenes. They put up a good front to mislead others into thinking they have a different life than what they truly have.

First steps when dealing with a sociopath

It can be quite a shock when you discover that someone at your workplace is a sociopath and has been doing a lot of unethical things behind your back. It gets lot easier as you encounter more in your life and know how to deal with them. The most important thing that you do first, or, I should say do not do, is go to the person and claim that they are a sociopath. Not only will that put them on guard and possibly result in a counterattack, but, it can be unprofessional for you to do in the office. It makes others question your intentions by attacking someone else in such a spectacular manner.

In addition to not notifying the person that he or she is a sociopath, you shouldn’t use this word when speaking to your superior. In fact, the word “sociopath” should never be uttered except when talking with a trusted counselor or expert in the matter, and, even then, you need not to use the word. When there is a tip off of you suspecting another person of being a sociopath, alarms will start to ring. Sociopaths have a lot of imagination, almost no mental or moral barriers, and have the intelligence to carry out an attack on you. When dealing with a sociopath, preparation trumps everything else.

Sociopaths aren’t invincible, nor, are they perfect. They do have the advantage though when it comes to confrontation and conflict. When you attack them, they can turn the tables against you through lies, charm, and doing everything in their power to make sure the house of cards don’t come crashing down on the table.

You could be asking yourself, aren’t I doing the same as a sociopath by concealing thoughts and information? How can I rise against the immoral acts of a sociopath by being deceptive myself? Well, these are tough questions to answer, but, you should understand that you have a lot to lose in life and a sociopath couldn’t care less. What you should be asking yourself is how can I defend myself against a sociopath without doing something wrong? We hope to answer this question now.

Analyze the sociopath

Your first steps instead should be analysis. A sociopath usually isn’t going to cause harm unless it benefits them in some way. They normally don’t go out of their way to deal damage to someone, but, if they feel threatened or slowed down, they won’t hold back. In some cases, they will do everything in their power to feel the satisfaction of vanquishing their enemies. When you are under the circumstances of having to work with a sociopath, its best to understand what that person truly wants.

By knowing the desires of a sociopath, you start to piece together the puzzle. Their actions serve some purpose. This purpose is their wants or needs. There could be a great number of things that a sociopath want. There are no limits. Their personality dictates what they want in life and you must figure it out. This is your clue into predicting their future actions.

In order to know what the sociopath wants, you must first listen. That is key. Many sociopaths don’t even know that they are sociopaths. They also don’t lie 24/7. They try as much as they can to live a normal life and lying isn’t always on their agenda unless it serves some purpose.

Like most people, even sociopaths are thrilled to talk about things that they want unless it gets in the way of their plans to reveal too much. You can help encourage them to talk to you about it. What they say though doesn’t necessarily tell you exactly what they want. When someone says that they want to be CEO of a company, you must deconstruct and consider what the hidden desires are. It could be the money from a high paycheck, the power over employees, or the influence when dealing with other people. Every time you think you have uncovered what the sociopath wants, you must verify it without revealing your investigation. It is too easy to tip off a sociopath and make them suspect you which will cause them to mislead you in different directions they what their true interest are.

As you dig deeper, be careful not to fall into traps. Sociopaths will sometimes share “secrets” with you. Make no mistake about the purpose these secrets serve. In many cases sharing secrets disarm others and encourages people to share their own secrets. These become handy for the sociopath when they want to blackmail the person later or use it against them. If you are pressed to talk about something that might reveal to much about yourself, change the subject or show disinterest about the current one. Even if you have no reason to believe that a sociopath is digging dirt against you, they surely will use everything they have when cornered.

Document everything

After your initial analysis, you should commit yourself to documenting your encounters with a known sociopath. It can be a pain, but, in the event of a sudden attack, you will be sufficiently prepared. It also helps you when going into further analysis should you need to go on the offensive.

The first pieces of information you should record is a profile. This profile should not only include personal information but any mischievous acts. Also, it is wise to try and determine what the motivation was behind these acts. This profile becomes something that can be used to prevent further damages.

The next type of documentation you should initiate are records of communication. By recording your communication, you will be able to provide evidence of something when deception occurs, help develop the sociopath’s profile, and reassure yourself that you aren’t going crazy when your opponent claims one thing but said another thing in the past.

In my dealings with sociopaths, I have be very adamant in recording things during meetings and calls by keeping notes. I have also saved and archived emails and text messages. This has been of extreme use. Sociopaths will falsify what they have said in the past and then deny it later. They are so good at denying this (with their good acting skills) that even you might begin to believe their lies. Use your evidence to prevent a sociopath from gaining the upper hand in conversation. Once they know that you are recording evidence, they will have a whole lot less to say because they know the risks involved. They might even just leave you alone.

At any point you realize that a sociopath is engaging in something illegal or harassing, you should report it immediately to the proper authorities. Recording illegal activities as evidence is only useful when you report the violation in a timely manner. By not reporting the violation or failing to act, you become guilty yourself and it adds additional liability to your organization.

Put together a defense plan

When you have an analysis, profile, and evidence, you can begin to prepare a defense plan against a sociopath. If you are lucky, your position isn’t in the blocking the way of a sociopath and you can feel relieved. If you are in the targets of a sociopath, then you must prepare. That person will try to use you, deceive you, or destroy you (we mean your career).

The first layer of defense against a sociopath is making it harder for them to affect you. Think deterrence. It is a lot like preventing a burglar from breaking into your home. Adding a security screen, motion-detecting lights, and a security alarm can’t prevent a determined burglar, but can discourage them and send them looking for weaker victims.

Your defense against a sociopath should include some of the following.

1. Hide your emotions – don’t reveal your emotions, especially when upset, saddened, or confused.
2. Safeguard your personal information – never share personal details because a sociopath will do anything to get under your skin.
3. Filter your conversations – if something doesn’t need to be said, don’t say it.
4. Avoid contact as much as possible, but don’t make it obvious – say hi at least and smile when you pass by.
5. Don’t let the person know you have suspicions – this will prevent needless investigations by the sociopath
6. Never introduce your friends, family, or important business contacts – if they can’t go after you, they can go after someone you introduce them to.

When the sociopath is making moves that indicate that they are on the verge of taking action against you, your level of defense must rise.

Luckily, you have already amassed a collection of evidence against the person that shows there dishonesty. If well organized, you can pick a few cards out of the pack and reveal to the sociopath that you aren’t an easy victim to deal with. Just don’t show everything that is your final line of defense.

Many sociopaths will stop once they know you aren’t easy to attack. They don’t want to deal with difficulty. Only when they are determined will they act against you.

Going to war

Let’s say that you haven’t been successful at fending off a sociopath and you are in an all-out war. This is your worst case scenario and hopefully the steps you’ve previously taken has prevented you from being targeted by the sociopath. There still is a slim chance that the sociopath has overcome your barriers.

If your job, position, career, co-worker, or team member is in jeopardy, it’s time to take action. In the case of dealing with a sociopath, you’ll need to strike swiftly and boldly. While it would be nice to send a warning have the person stop, many sociopaths aren’t bothered by warnings. They will keep pressing on until they are forced to stop. Expect this, but warn anyways and document to warning.

Another thing to remember is that sociopaths don’t learn lessons. They don’t get cured nor can you expect them to keep promises. This is a tough thing to realize, but, this is a simple fact. When a sociopath fails at getting what they want from someone, they simply move on to the next victim or they lie in wait until things die down before they launch another strike. Don’t bother trying to reform a sociopath.

When you set out to end a sociopath’s tyranny, you will need to utilize everything that you have prepared in advance. You must also gather your available resources and be ready to you them at a moment’s notice. Before taking action, make sure that you don’t take things personally. It would be useless against a sociopath.

Some resources that you might want to prepare to fight a sociopath include:

• Legal counsel
• HR representatives
• Superiors
• Authorities
• Outside advisors

Your employer is the first stop to put an end to a sociopath’s reign. All the evidence gathered must be organized and presented to your employer to highlight what wrongdoings have taken place and the level of conduct the sociopath has done. By going to your employer, you acknowledge to them that there is a conflict and it is affecting work performance and the company’s code of ethics (should there be one). Also make sure to report anything which has affected others.

When you report to your employer, be sure to record and document that interaction as well. Your first meeting should simply be to inform and raise a red flag. Remember never to use the word “sociopath” nor present anything except facts. Additional meetings should be follow-ups on the matter and seeking to resolve the issue.

It might even take some convincing to your employer on how the sociopath is putting the organization in danger. Someone with faulty morals is someone who can damage the reputation of the company. It is important to convey how actions against you can be perpetuated on other individuals.

It shouldn’t be surprising if the sociopath lies to your employer and even convinces them that they did nothing wrong. This can be extremely frustrating, but, you should expect it and prepare for it.

If your employer fails to correct the wrongdoings of a sociopath and they continue, you might request to be moved to another team or section if possible. If there is harassment involved and your manager fails to act, then legal counsel and reporting to labor authorities is in order. You’ll want to do everything possible to protect your job and livelihood.

Every jurisdiction will have different laws on what constitutes as “harassment.” Sometimes it is legal to harass people as long as the workplace environment is physically safe. It isn’t in the employer’s interest to allow this however. Harassment does become illegal and quite serious when there is some motivation behind it, typically, in regards to race, gender, age, disability, religion, etc. This is when the legal engine gets into motion. Hopefully it doesn’t get this far.

When having a confrontation with the sociopath by yourself, be on guard and show a calm demeanor. Present the facts to the sociopath about any issues and supply a warning in writing (or email) with a copy. If your employer is in on it, be sure to CC them. If the sociopath fails to yield to the warning and you’ve already persistently asked for assistance from your employer, it’s time to consider moving on to another job opportunity. Unless you can bypass the sociopath, there is no reason why you should force yourself to deal with someone who can potentially bring you down and lower your work performance.